Went to the World Cup

Hello & thanks to anyone who has been reading, I appreciate it. I will start off by just addressing what has been going on in general, then will expand more on the topic of this post.

Over the past few weeks, things have been more or less the same, just been working, playing soccer and going to the gym. I have been spending alot of time at my friends house as well. One thing I have noticed as I have been getting in better shape is my performances in soccer have gotten better. I was hurt for so long and lost so much confidence in my ability but I am running really well and overall playing stress free and thus, playing better. I don’t know, I only rejoined this hear as a way to get out of the house but that spark is not really there anymore, I think I am going to get into coaching next year - I find it cool to kind of mould the kids I would be working with not just as players, but teaching them respect etc would be pretty rewarding.

My grandparents, whom I live with, are moving. It is going to be so weird not being in my childhood house but things unfortunately are not going their way and I will be happy to see them a little less stressed, although not under the best of circumstances.

Anyways, yesterday I was able to go to a world cup game with friends. It was a super surreal and cool experience. If you have not attended something like that it is hard to put it into words. I hate big crowds and this was the biggest one I have been in, but I decided to say screw it, stopped caring if people saw me taking a picture of myself, did the chanting, was singing etc. We then went to an afterparty, which really not something I do much but it was alright, ran into alot of people I knew. I just basically said to myself that I can revert back to whatever tomorrow but just enjoy the experience for today.

It forsure was a bittersweet moment. I was with a bunch of friends but something was missing still and I think they kind of understood that. Without saying it, I could tell they kind of knew and were supportive which was nice. This was basically the first time I have left my house in months so it was hard, but I made sure to thank them for the opportunity. I am especially thankful to my friend Bozo and his girlfriend Kate, who have been extremely supportive.

I am really not a downer all the time honestly but it sure sounds like it so I apologize. I basically try to cope with everything by doing my own things, like going to the gym, going for drives or recently I have started walking alot and it kind of calms me down, at least temporarily. You can’t expect people to always understand what you are going through and I always feel like a burden so I try to use this page as a way to combat it. I know because I mainly put the negatives here that it sounds like everything is bad and I really should outline the good as well. I am going to start doing that.

I will leave it here but will probably update again. As for plans for today - finish up work, go to an art store for jersey frames and hit the gym. Apart from that a pretty quiet day. Hope that if you happen to be reading this, that you have a good rest of your day :)